Finding The Middle
Ride the wave! This particular blog will have many aspects that could spur off into many directions. Hopefully I'll be able to stay on track, as I do have a tendency to go off topic before coming back to it. Concentration is not one of my strong suits, but I'm going to give it a go.
My counselor once said, you can't be up high for a long time, nor can you be down low for a long time. However, you will never be able to stay at an even keel because life has it's ups & downs.
I have been very blessed in my life. Though I have been through a lot, God has always had His hand on my life & has directed my path one way or another. Some folks, when I tell them about my history are astonished I turned out the way I have. Most children who go through situations similar to mine, don't fare so well.
I have had super highs & super lows. I didn't like to be in either place because once I landed there, I dwelled there. Things that go up, must come down, & when you've hit the bottom the only way to go is up. Depression hit me hard after I lost my mother. I went through the cycles of grief & got stuck in the anger mode for a long time. I got to that point where darkness became my norm. I didn't care who what where when or why. I was confronted by a girlfriend who said you are making yourself & those around you miserable! You're going to have to change something somewhere.
I began going to a therapist because I needed help. She would give me "home work" & I would do it, but I didn't "feel" any better. It wouldn't be until I went to a revival meeting with my then estranged friend. I came out of that revival happy, content, peaceful & I repaired my friendship that night. Forgiveness was the key that opened up that heavy dark door & I walked through it into the light.
I had continued my therapy though I knew God had all the answers I sought. The thing that the therapist said at that point made more sense than when she first said it. You have to find the "middle" & experiment on each side. If you get too high, you'll crash down to below that middle where you don't want to be again. If you get too low you'll fall back into that depression pit & have to crawl back out again.
Finding the middle wasn't as easy as I thought it would be at first. I had set a new goal & through my determination to reach that goal I hit a super high. When things began to slow down while reaching for my goal I became discouraged & depressed. Then a lightbulb went off! It's ok to be excited & happy, as long as you stay grounded in the back of your mind.
When I was a young adult, I went through many crashing disapointments. I would allow myself to get super excited & usually when the person set me up for them, they would inevidbly back out in some way & then I would be hurt & angry. I set my sights on the wrong thing. If I hadn't set myself up for it, I wouldn't have gotten to the point of expecting things not to work, or to go wrong. After many years of going through this, I didn't look forward to, or allow myself to get excited about anything.
When I finally allowed myself to become excited I let it get out of control & would crash. We enable & disable ourselves. God pulled me out of & through many situations until I grasped that He is the constant, He is the middle! I can venture either way, but as long as I stay close to Him, I won't crash either way.
I know many don't believe in God. Some have a higher power, or are Spiritual. For me, God is the only way to go. I can do many things without Him, but chances are I'm going to need Him to get me out of or pull me through something... so why not start off with Him in the first place.
He has given me so much more than I could ever have acquired myself. He has given me life, love, happiness, peace, joy, comfort & the middle.
It's so much easier when you find the middle. Without it, you become pretty lost.