Rolling Without Limits

Your mobility may be limited. Your voice, boundless.

Deafies in a Wheelchair
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Deafies in a Wheelchair

Being in a wheelchair is already very difficult to live through as it is, without having to worry about another handicap. But what do you do if you are in a wheelchair as well as having to live with being Deaf? You can’t walk, have difficulty moving your arms, and your ears malfunction. What is there to do? Deaf people normally learn sign language to communicate, thus removing a large amount of communication barriers; but, there are still issues to deal with without needing to wonder about how to get a loaf of bread, or how to cook.

Well, this is the life of some Deaf folks. They are wheelchair bound, can’t fully feed themselves – cooking and cleaning up after themselves is next to impossible – and they depend on people to help them in and out of bed or the bath. After, once that is taken care of, they must ask someone else to call the handicap transport for them, and another to interpret for their entire doctor’s appointment, or else they won’t understand a word the doctor says. Then, they have to ensure they make their way through the crowd, still accompanied, to make it back to the spot the handicap transport told them they would be picked up, only to wait two more hours because it got held up in traffic. Yet, they keep smiling.

When they arrive home, they feel like cozying up in bed together – yes, they are a couple – only to have the evening employee tell them it’s not safe and they are not allowed privacy for their little romantic yearnings since she needs to keep an eye on them and doesn’t want to have to enter the room while they are doing anything no one wants to walk in on, and anyways, it can’t lead anywhere because marrying or having children is out of the question for them. Finally, the smile leaves their faces. This woman, a hearing employee that had been working with them for months now and had always seemed non-judgmental, just showed her true colors: she believed they shouldn’t pursue their relationship. But they needed her, and help was hard to get by with all the conditions required for this job, and they accepted… only to find out, a few days later, that she wasn’t the only one to believe the same thing. The only one who supported their relationship was the only Deaf employee there, a friend of mine who welcomed me into the Deaf world when I was only starting to learn sign language.

Without knowing this story, my friend asked me to visit their home. I had met both of them but didn’t know anything about their relationship – I just thought they were close friends. When I arrived, I sat down to find out I had a hard time understanding the girl: her physical impairment made it hard for her to even sign the simplest signs, and I had to ask the second Deaf friend (not an employee – just visiting with me) to interpret for me.

That’s when I found out that the girl was announcing that she and her boyfriend were going to get married. “Oh, but that’s wonderful news!” I exclaimed in sign language. But the reaction I got was not the one I anticipated. She turned her wheelchair straight around with a stunningly quick precision and darted for the kitchen, where my friend had been cleaning up after dinner.

After a few seconds, both came back into the dining room with my friend saying that she knew that was the answer I would give. She was only trying to show her that not all hearing people are judgmentalby telling me to pretend they had gotten engaged, and that her initial shock of being told that she shouldn’t pursue her relationship was wrong. What they were doing was completely natural and they had a right to fight for what they wanted.

I left, feeling pretty down myself, but my friend (the visitor) told me that she was happy I went. She wanted to make the couple understand that they should not let others tell them what to do, and needed me to prove it to them. I felt better again.

Leave a Comment

  1. Lori Emmons
    Lori Emmons
    Truly sad how people pass judgement on how, what & who should or should not do, say or act a certain way. I thought we were all uniquely & wonderfully made to be who & how we are! Respect & cherish the differences! Remember - Live & let live?
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  2. sweedly
    sweedly
    How sad that these people thought they could not follow their hearts and dreams because of how a caretaker thought it was not proper. I am so glad to hear that you helped make a difference in their lives. You did a really good service by your actions. I wish the best for these folks in their relationship. Vote #2
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  3. Broken English
    Broken English
    Voted. A very moving and well-written blog. Why can severely disabled people not marry or have that kind of relationship? That kind of discrimination is terrible.
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  4. Daniel Andrei Garcia
    Daniel Andrei Garcia
    #10 Voted
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  5. pftsusan
    pftsusan
    #12 voted
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  6. PAUL  KHO
    PAUL KHO
    Yes, I agree with your comment. It's difficult to communicate when you have an impairment. Even though you were there with good intentions sometimes they can be misinterpreted and they turn around and judge you. In my case I lost an opportunity to secure a position for my chosen field as an electronic technologist because the interviewer didn't understand what I was trying to say.
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  7. Broken English
    Broken English
    Hi Annie, I have just submitted another blog, The First Cut Is The Deepest...., which is on this theme of quality of life for disabled people, please check it out, thanks! :-) Looking forward to your next one here too!
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  8. Lil Nana
    Lil Nana
    #15 How sad, why is it wrong for them to want to be together? I hope they will be able to work things out
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    1. SignLanguage
      People say it's wrong because they are not capable of taking care of themselves and believe it would be dangerous to let them 'get it on' together, much less care for a child together. I disagree with that mentality!
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      1. Broken English
        Broken English
        So do I, that's just stupid! They already have people to care for them, don't they? Then it wouldn't make any difference if they had a sexual relationship or a child, they would still have people to help them out!
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