Rolling Without Limits

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Don't Ask Me About How I Got My Disability
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Don't Ask Me About How I Got My Disability

Here and there, people with disabilities are being questioned about their disabilities, and it doesn't matter if it is a physical or invisible disability. Once they realize you have a disability, they begin to question how you got the disability, it's annoying but just at times when these questions are asked, it isn't so easy to divert, and I can't resist the urge to dive in.

My disability is still a big deal. How I got my disability is a big topic out there. Be that as it may, in a one-on-one setting, it appears to take on another attractive charge, suddenly demanding attention. Individuals think they need to approach it, and can't resist the urge to address it. It's mistaken as a perfect candidate for small talks. Since casual chitchat is, all things considered, the thing we can discuss most promptly, the new invention, organic products, the elections, what is directly before us. Some of the time it's the climate, once in a while it's the rain, and again and again, it's my disability.

Individuals are normally highly inquisitive, and I accept that they're mostly well-intentioned. They need to show they care. To reach past the surface and make a more profound connection. So when disability and its enormous backstory are so out in the open, why not get some information about it?

Connections are sustained. Without setting up that initial foundation, making a plunge can rather feel like an intrusion. And truth is, the backstory of my disability isn't that informative. It isn't really about being a wheelchair user, here and now. It's about what it's like to grieve. And we all know what that's like in our own way.

This isn't to say we shouldn't discuss disability. Truth be told, that is something contrary to what I need. I want to educate and get educated and I need individuals to pose the correct questions. Questions that are beneficial, questions that assemble mindfulness, that prepare individuals to be partners. Questions that allow both myself and a stranger to walk away with something valuable.

Questions that really give understanding into what it looks like to live with a disability.

Image credit: Photo by Author

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  1. Arnie Slater
    Arnie Slater
    I have Cerebral Palsy. I am a teacher. I still get asked questions...( or just looks) daily. I don’t let it bother me. I come right out and turn it around on those who look.... “ It’s ok to ask me a question... I don’t bite” I tell students and adults alike. I would rather you ask me a question than just speculate and wonder. In 51 years, I think I’ve heard any question you could ask. It’s a teachable moment.
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