With chronic illness, it's often the little things that bring the most joy. Today’s simple pleasure was feeling up to doing my nails and toes. I also learned yet again that I am NOT good at doing this! However, taking some time to do something so little and normal makes me feel a little more “normal”, whatever that may be. Plus, it's nice to have pretty things, especially when it's hard to think about getting dressed on a high pain day.
Today I’m pretty lucky – it's amazingly gorgeous outside today, I’ve got my window open, the breeze is blowing in, the clouds are making fun shapes in the sky, and a snoring puppy is beside me. My goal is to get outside and just relax for a bit.
I truly wish we had a spot to hang my hammock up, because this is perfect hammock weather, and I haven’t been able to do that in almost a year. Slowly but surely, I’m able to get out more and more. I’ve started going back to shows and concerts finally. It’s exhausting, but I can do it.
It’s amazing getting a chance to dive back into what I love, even if it is in a completely different role that is proving hard to get used to. It is infinitely easier on my body though. I choose to find joy in the things that once defined me, instead of letting chronic illness define me.
Learning to truly listen to my body has been a journey – often it likes to whisper before it starts screaming, and I’ve been able to start listening to the whisper before the screaming to try and avoid bad flares. Learning to love yourself is incredibly hard. But nothing worth having is easy it seems like. Day by day, minute by minute, you just keep going and keep learning to love yourself.
Image credit: Author