*Update: I wrote this back in 2011 and I am very happy to announce that Bryan and I are engaged.
The last time I wrote, I had started talking to Bryan. We met on a dating site, and we've spent every day since the first day we spoke, talking, texting and emailing. It's been so much fun getting to know each other, and we quickly noticed that we have nearly everything in common. The most important values and things to have in common, we actually share.
In the coming year, we have a big day when we find out if everything we dream about is the real deal. I have my suspicions that he's exactly what I've been looking for my entire life.
Every quality I admire about a man, he has, which is scary and exciting too. I get butterflies. I'm nervous. I have chills, all things I have never experienced with anyone I've previously dated. It really doesn't matter that we haven't met in person. We've video chatted, and he sends me goofy videos, so we can feel closer, and it has worked.
We decided early on to be totally honest and open, and it really is the best thing. I can tell him anything and it’s all good, and it's the same for him. We are both disabled. I use a wheelchair, and he uses crutches. There is a certain level comfort that you have almost immediately, which is great, though that's definitely not the most important thing. I truly believe I have met my other half, which is crazy to say, but this feeling accompanies almost three months of non-stop communication.
He's already said I have his heart. Bryan says I'm everything he's ever wanted. Obviously, we care deeply about each other. I'm looking forward to our life, to the house we want to build with the wrap around porch. I love daydreaming about the wheelchair accessible home and porch swing, the one we dream about sitting on at night, watching sunsets.
It still amazes me that after this journey, everything we dreamed about came true. We have a chemistry, filled with friendship and love. Dare I say. we have it all. Some say you can't really fall in love online or through email, texting and talking until all hours of the night.
I'm here as proof you can. Two weeks before we were to meet, Bryan told me he loved me for the first time. I was shocked and delighted and I totally blanked didn't say anything. I called him back and confessed I loved him too. I had just been nervous and had the fear that it was too soon to be feeling that. But we both were.
Once we met, it was even more obvious that we were a “match made in heaven”. So it's been a few weeks, and every day is slow torture, being apart from each other. Thankfully, in May, he will be here for seven days, and I cannot wait. I am looking forward to meeting his family and friends when I go visit him. Our lives have already started and all the things we dream about are slowly coming true.
It's been a little over a month since we've seen each other and Friday, he will be back. Amen! The slow torture that started off after he left has slowly gotten worse, and now it's just misery. So for seven days we get to hang out and bond. I love just thinking about it.
I remember being younger and hearing "old women" talk about what it feels like to be in love, to fall in love, and to feel that thing. It's that thing I didn't know existed until now. They'd always say "You'll know, when you know." I always wondered: what does that mean?
One day I'll be that old lady saying that to all the young people, and they won't have any idea what I'm talking about. “You'll know." But that really is the only way to explain it. You will never mistake it for “Do I honestly like this person?" There will be no doubt.
My advice on this works. Get to know the other person a lot. Talk, talk, talk. Be completely honest. Write long emails. Leave it all out there on the table, and if you both do that, you have a chance for something really special. You also have to be absolutely ready for it. Plus, you have to know what you are looking for in a person, and that's so different for everyone.
If the other person is willing to get to know you slowly and doesn't push seeing you right away, then take advantage of that and really get to know each other. Be brave. Try:
- Skype Dates
- Long Emails
- Love Letters
- Lots of Talking and learning about each other
- Snail Mail letters once you feel comfortable
- Date Nights – Rent the same movie and grab some popcorn and spend it on the phone.
- Send videos back and forth
- Communication is the key
Be totally upfront with your disability or whatever your challenge might be. Be yourself. Don't pretend to be anything different than you are. If it’s right, it will come naturally and effortlessly.