While cleaning off my computer I found this article that I neglected to post. I wrote it a couple years ago.
For the last couple of months, I have been dabbling with online dating. I had short stent years ago, and it worked out fairly well. I changed a few things this time around. First off, I was absolutely truthful; I know it's shocking that someone wouldn't be entirely sincere online. However, I liked the idea of getting to know someone without them knowing my secret.
This had negative side effects that I didn't expect. I couldn't completely be myself and had to hide a lot of who I am. I'm not defined by my disability, but it’s a part of me, and I can't deny it.
It turned into this huge deal that it didn't have to be. No one cared. Even though, I didn't have problems dating off-line. Just thought it would be fun to meet someone this way. I had been working a lot and I just didn't have time to meet someone off-line.
The online guys in the past each has a different story how they found out about the "Wheelchair." Here's one such guy...
Michael said he was in the US on business he wasn't going to go home until we finally met. We had been emailing/talking for a few months, and since he lived in Germany, I couldn't say no, so I had to think quick, so I said I broke both of my legs, and that's why I couldn't walk. I would have told him before we met, but I didn't have a chance. He never asked why no casts. He was wonderful when I eventually did tell him, and we had a great laugh and dated for a few years.
I don't know what I was thinking. Well, I kind of do. Sometimes you just don't want to be that gimpy chic. You want to be you. It turns out being me is the best thing I could have done. Chalk it up to being young and dumb. It is tricky growing up with a disability. It's always there and when you are young and dating you want it to disappear for a while and online dating gave me that for a little while.
I decided when I posted my personal ad in July 2010, that I would be completely honest. I talked about all my interest trying to give them a sense of who I am, and at the end I simply said: "P.S., I use a wheelchair if you have any questions just ask."
I was pleasantly surprised at the reactions that I received. So it comes down to this: you have to be completely confident in yourself. I'm more confident today then I have ever been. Being 39 gives you a better perspective on things.
I'll keep you posted on my online dating.