Self- love is a very big theme in our society, and I’m pretty okay with as well. Provided that a person does not think too high of themselves, nor think so low of themselves.
What I mean that, there are people in life that think their so awesome, that they have no room to learn or grow. On the other hand, there are those who are so low on themselves, that they negate the reality which speaks to how they can serve the world with their talents.
If I’m honest though, I am not sure that most of us are sure of ourselves or know who we are. Most of us, are down on ourselves and don’t believe that we have talents and ways to impact the world. If that is something that you wrestle with in your daily life, guess what? Me too!
There are days where I feel that I’m an awesome writer, an awesome teacher an awesome coach. Then, there are days where I feel as though, I’m no good at either of those things. You might say that to feel that way is “normal” and to degree it is, but for some of us, those seemingly “normal” ways to feel about ourselves, actually can turn into very depressive dark nights/days of the soul.
How then do we deal with the days, when we don’t feel as though we have much to offer? How do we begin to love ourselves in spite of having rough days, where you’d rather stay inside and do anything?
First things first, acknowledge that you are having a rough day and your thoughts are not the best. Notice them, take stock of them. This can take some time, as some days you can be overcome with depression and negative thoughts. It is still possible, however to notice those thoughts even though they are coming at you full speed.
Second, when you notice those thoughts, now is the time to remember to breath. Slow deep breathes that come from the depth of your stomach. I’m sure it seems fairly annoying, being told to breath. But breath is everything, breath is life its self. When we can control our breath, we can control our bodies and eventually the thoughts in our minds.
Third, after we notice our thoughts, and we learn to control and master our breath. We must take hold of the thought, and ask ourselves “is this thought true or is it a lie?” For example, if a thought enters my mind that says “I’m no good” or “nobody cares about me” is that actually true to my life? Or that a lie trying to distract us more so that we become more withdrawn more into our selves?
More often than not, I would say that most of the negative and self-condemning thoughts we have about ourselves aren’t actually true. You are gifted, you do have talents, people do care. It’s just that so often we forget, because we are so fixated on our present circumstances that we forget who we are.
To be fair, none of us have master the art of gaining control over our thoughts. But we sure can try, so why not start today?
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